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[outofclothes]

spam.
[For most people, dying is a big problem. It tends to put a damper on their whole day. For Stark? Well, it's not quite the relief he thought it'd be (and a little more embarrassing than expected; going down to some rogue Sub Rosa was just not what he had in mind for his blaze of glory, but what can you do?), but it was on the to-do list somewhere along the way.]

[It doesn't even really faze Stark much when he finds his surroundings different from what he remembers from his last trip. Hell was on the brink of civil war. New management was always a possibility. He's annoyed, but not that distraught over the lack of his guns and knife. The na'at makes him a little sad, but he can always pick up another here. Weapons are everywhere if you know where to look.]

[And look, he does. Stark doesn't need his hand to be hold or to be told where he is even if this isn't what he was looking forward to. (And yes, he's completely aware of how fucked up that is.) The best he has, once he's on the deck, is that whoever took over the shithole has been watching a little too much Star Trek between organizing an army and overthrowing Lucifer. He hopes they didn't do something equally stupid to the arena or he's going to be pissed.]

[It's at that point, when he's fairly alone, he tries stepping into a shadow. When nothing happens, he's not all that relieved, but he's still not mad.]

voice.
[It's his cabin that makes Stark go from apathetic to not in less than a second. He would've shrugged off and forgiven being pushed off the U.S. Bank Tower compared to this. Stark knew death wasn't going to be a vacation for him, but there are some pretty clear lines that no one should have the balls enough to cross. Then again, there's always morons wherever you go.]

[Stark won't give anyone any satisfaction of an obvious reaction. You never let the other guy know he's under your skin because the second you do that, you've lost. He knows how to turn that part of his brain off and work on pure auto-pilot to close the door behind him, to sit down on the mattress, and start puzzling out the communicator. Luckily he's mastered enough of the ridiculous phone technology to figure it out.]

So, who'd like to take credit for this?

Comments

[outofclothes]

Nah, I'm just that good.

[He was also you thirteen years before you were born, but ssshh.]

[patheticvillain]

Well, in that case, it's a big honor to have you on board, sir.

[outofclothes]

Stark.

[You little shithead.]

[patheticvillain]

Yes, sir. Stark.

[A beat. And then he grins and waves his hand like, okay, okay, mostly because he hates calling people sir.]

Cassel.

So, out of curiosity, are you the stab-a-guy-through-the-neck-on-the-first-day type of inmate, or the other kind?

[outofclothes]

Well, I try not to be too easy on the first day. I usually only resort to stabbing if I don't have a gun on me.

[Wouldn't want anyone to think he's a violence-slut.]

[patheticvillain]

You don't think shooting somebody's easier than stabbing them?

[Doubting u buddy.]

[outofclothes]

Now why would I bother to shoot anyone if they weren't hard to hit?

[patheticvillain]

[Well, Stark could always be a coward. But Cassel is trying this thing where he doesn't actively try for gunshot wounds. Whoa!!]

Trick people shots? Sounds humane.

[outofclothes]

[Whoa stop it with that character development, Cassel. You might poke your own eye out!!!]

Once in a while you gotta be.

[patheticvillain]

[It's a serious danger. He should get some protective eyegear.]

And the rest of the time?

[outofclothes]

Oh c'mon, you can't be that bad at math. Even I'm not.

[patheticvillain]

I'm just saying, the opposite of humane is dependent on point of view and circumstance.

I am really terrible at math, though.

[outofclothes]

Well then, to build on your skills, I'll give you a hint: I don't believe in half-assing anything.

[patheticvillain]

So you one hundred percent kill the shit out of people.

[Why be tactful?]

[outofclothes]

I knew you had it in you, kid.

[patheticvillain]

Well, the hints helped. You should look into teaching.

[outofclothes]

I'm not that sadistic.

[patheticvillain]

You sure? Look deep into your heart.

[outofclothes]

Hey, fuck you, Lord Vader. I'll have you know I'm actually a pretty all-around decent guy.

[patheticvillain]

Except for the violent murder and stuff.

And fuck you too, I've been informed I'm Han Solo by a reliable source.

[Reliable-ish.]

[outofclothes]

You'd be surprised at the number of decent guys who participate in violent murder and stuff.

This reliable source swimming at the bottom of a bottle?

[You are such a Luke from A New Hope. Don't you even...]

[patheticvillain]

Cute. You should put that in a personal ad.

Uh, no. Possibly the end of a joint, but as far as I know, not on that particular day.

[outofclothes]

Can't. I'd run out of character space and wouldn't be able to talk about my fondness for moonlit walks on the beach.

So just blind then.

[patheticvillain]

I don't know what beaches you go to, but the ones I know it'd be more like a moonlit syringe in the foot.

Excuse you, I value that compliment. It sits in my personal compliment file right above "You're the biggest asshole I've ever met".

[outofclothes]

Again, character limits. [He sighs.] Aren't you kids supposed to be about The Twitter Thing these days?

You might want to relabel that file to the greatest lies ever told.