||| 001 spam/voice

[outofclothes]

spam.
[For most people, dying is a big problem. It tends to put a damper on their whole day. For Stark? Well, it's not quite the relief he thought it'd be (and a little more embarrassing than expected; going down to some rogue Sub Rosa was just not what he had in mind for his blaze of glory, but what can you do?), but it was on the to-do list somewhere along the way.]

[It doesn't even really faze Stark much when he finds his surroundings different from what he remembers from his last trip. Hell was on the brink of civil war. New management was always a possibility. He's annoyed, but not that distraught over the lack of his guns and knife. The na'at makes him a little sad, but he can always pick up another here. Weapons are everywhere if you know where to look.]

[And look, he does. Stark doesn't need his hand to be hold or to be told where he is even if this isn't what he was looking forward to. (And yes, he's completely aware of how fucked up that is.) The best he has, once he's on the deck, is that whoever took over the shithole has been watching a little too much Star Trek between organizing an army and overthrowing Lucifer. He hopes they didn't do something equally stupid to the arena or he's going to be pissed.]

[It's at that point, when he's fairly alone, he tries stepping into a shadow. When nothing happens, he's not all that relieved, but he's still not mad.]

voice.
[It's his cabin that makes Stark go from apathetic to not in less than a second. He would've shrugged off and forgiven being pushed off the U.S. Bank Tower compared to this. Stark knew death wasn't going to be a vacation for him, but there are some pretty clear lines that no one should have the balls enough to cross. Then again, there's always morons wherever you go.]

[Stark won't give anyone any satisfaction of an obvious reaction. You never let the other guy know he's under your skin because the second you do that, you've lost. He knows how to turn that part of his brain off and work on pure auto-pilot to close the door behind him, to sit down on the mattress, and start puzzling out the communicator. Luckily he's mastered enough of the ridiculous phone technology to figure it out.]

So, who'd like to take credit for this?

Comments

[outofclothes]

Hey, fuck you, Lord Vader. I'll have you know I'm actually a pretty all-around decent guy.

[patheticvillain]

Except for the violent murder and stuff.

And fuck you too, I've been informed I'm Han Solo by a reliable source.

[Reliable-ish.]

[outofclothes]

You'd be surprised at the number of decent guys who participate in violent murder and stuff.

This reliable source swimming at the bottom of a bottle?

[You are such a Luke from A New Hope. Don't you even...]

[patheticvillain]

Cute. You should put that in a personal ad.

Uh, no. Possibly the end of a joint, but as far as I know, not on that particular day.

[outofclothes]

Can't. I'd run out of character space and wouldn't be able to talk about my fondness for moonlit walks on the beach.

So just blind then.

[patheticvillain]

I don't know what beaches you go to, but the ones I know it'd be more like a moonlit syringe in the foot.

Excuse you, I value that compliment. It sits in my personal compliment file right above "You're the biggest asshole I've ever met".

[outofclothes]

Again, character limits. [He sighs.] Aren't you kids supposed to be about The Twitter Thing these days?

You might want to relabel that file to the greatest lies ever told.

[patheticvillain]

Uh, no, we've bypassed Twitter by now and gone straight to downloading our thoughts into each others' brains.

Okay, but that's the subtitle already. [No, really.]

[outofclothes]

That must be annoying as fuck.

So is the file name also in the file?

[BRRRRRRM]

[patheticvillain]

It's hilarious when you download a virus, though.

Are you saying lies can't be compliments? Because I call bullshit.

[outofclothes]

Didn't your mama ever tell you not to download porn?

90% or more of all compliments are lies. Which is why I don't see the sense in saving the really blatant ones. They're just sloppy.

[patheticvillain]

She strongly encouraged it, actually. [And sleeping with random girls who looked like his lost love??]

Saving "you're the biggest asshole I've ever met" is more like tally marks, to be fair.

[outofclothes]

What a hip mother.

[Only being mildly sarcastic.]

I'd lose count, personally.

[patheticvillain]

The hippest.

[And then Cassel gently tamped down some nausea.]

That's the whole point of tally marks, genius.

[outofclothes]

Okay then, allow me to clarify: I got better shit to do than tally people calling me an asshole, jackass.

[patheticvillain]

Nnnnnot anymore you don't. You're in space jail. It's that or sulking.

[outofclothes]

Damn and here I thought I'd never miss LA.

[patheticvillain]

There's also death bingo.

[Call him crazy but he feels like you will be receptive to this one, Stark.]

[outofclothes]

Death bingo.

[...Go on.]

[patheticvillain]

When you die here, you come back. We figured it'd get old. So . . .

[And then there was a gentle file transfer.]

[outofclothes]

[Give him a second. B| Technology is hard. udek.]

Christ, you did get bored.

[Which this is not him slamming death bingo, okay. It's actually a good idea by his standards.]

[Which means, this is a horrible idea. You should feel ashamed.]

[patheticvillain]

Isn't it great?

[He's still so goddamn gleeful about this.]

Works like normal bingo. We're still working out the prize because nobody's won it yet. Iris Wildthyme's in the lead as of now, I think. But she dies like it's a hobby, so. You know.

[outofclothes]

There's still time to catch up then. Good to know.

[patheticvillain]

That's what I like to see. The attitude of a go-getter. There's hope for you yet.

[outofclothes]

Well when you dangle a mystery prize unknown to even the creators of the game, how the hell am I supposed to say no?